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I watched for hours as a steady stream of blood, their fluids drained from me, it mixed with water and together and went down the drain.
I was in so much physical pain, and in shock, my body was no longer functioning properly. It was the closest thing to an out-of-body experience I have ever felt.
Shortly after arriving at the bar, and after a few sips of my first drink, I knew something wasn’t right.
I could feel that something had been put into my drink, I felt “out of my mind”.
I went there with the intention of “coming to terms” with being gay.
As I sat there, I had a million pictures flash through my mind; pictures of that night, pictures from pre-school, memories through my life flooded my brain. The blood vessels in my eyes were broken, and I had blood spots on the whites of my eyes.But, I was thankful that consciousness was on and off for me, the drugs in the beverage and passing out from the terror and trauma was a small blessing.I am fortunate to not remember every single detail, which I am so far beyond thankful for.I can remember how cold my body was, and how hot my blood felt as it ran down my legs, and down the crack of my butt to my back.
And, I can remember the horrible ripping, tearing, burning pain…I felt as though they were swinging the sharp side of an axe between my legs, chopping away like they were avidly attempting to fall a tree.
They made statements like, “faggots are suppose to like this”, and “hey little girl, stop crying”, and among one another they chuckled, “boy, I hope he doesn’t get pregnant”. I knew they knew where I lived, and I was waiting for them to come back and finish me off, I waited for the sounds of their voices again, I waited to hear them coming up the hallway to my room to kill me. I did not feel safe because they knew where I lived.